The Bitter Ex-Girlfriend

Nica and her boyfriend were together for a very looooong time up until she found out that her boyfriend is crushing on another girl.

She feels she is being cheated on and decided to break up with him.

After the break up, she floods the Facebook news feed with all her posts and rants about how a cheater her ex is.

She then proceeds to sourgraping by saying it is better they broke up because her boyfriend is too boring for her. And that she is so happy she is single that she could just party all night and meet up with different guys.

After partying all night long, she sits in front of her computer posting "WOW! I just had the best night in my life!!! #yolo #singleandreadytomingle"

After posting, she crawls to bed and starts looking at pictures of her ex. She then starts crying and reminiscing all the "happy" memories.

By tomorrow, she will post some inspirational life quotes about memories and letting go.

This scenario went on and on until she found her so-called "new" love.

She then starts posting that she is so happy that she has found her "true" love and that this new feeling is something that is incomparable with her past relationships.

She floods her page with couple photos and lovey-dovey posts believing that this will bother her ex-boyfriend and that he will regret ever having a crush on someone else.

Realizing that this does not affect her ex-boyfriend, she proceeds to sharing funny photos on Facebook about cheaters.

With her ex-boyfriend showing no signs of jealousy, regret or whatsoever, Nica tries to make contact with her ex.

Knowing that her ex-boyfriend still likes her and just respected her "decisions in life", Nica wanted them to get back together.

And well..

She decided to break up with her "new-true-love-for-a-few-days", where she immediately posts on Facebook "You know my name , not my story. Stop judging me." right after.

Phew.

Continue Reading...

The Powertripper

Stacy used to be a really sweet and friendly lady up until she was appointed student body president.

This so-called authority changed her.

She feels oh so powerful that she does not want to be seen as the ordinary Stacy. She wants everyone to realize how powerful she could really be.

One time, she saw a student taking a nap inside the classroom. Instead of approaching the student to discipline him, or maybe even knowing the reason why he was sleeping (he could be sick, who knows), she just took a photograph of the student and sent it directly to the department head.

The poor student got a suspension without any warning.

Stacy didn't feel any pity for the student. Instead, she feels more powerful that she has actually done something to suspend a student.

"My, what great powers I have!" is maybe what she is thinking.

She then started implementing rules and events that is desirable for her.

She scheduled a fashion show because that's what she wants - even if the rest of the students don't like the idea.

A different student body officer posted on Facebook that she does not like fashion shows because it is so "baduy" for her.

Stacy saw this and got really mad because she can't accept the fact that someone doesn't like her idea or the way she "leads" things. She took a screen shot and sent it again to the department head, crying like a childish brat because she got so HURT. Ugh.

She wanted the officer to be kicked out of the student body because, well.. because that's what she wants.

And because she feels she has the power to do so.

Wow.

What a leader.

Continue Reading...

The "I'm Moving On" Girl

Rose seems to be the girl who always has problems with her guy but just can't let him go.

She founds out her boyfriend was cheating on her.
She breaks up with him and declares she will never ever forgive and accept him back.

The next day she tells you she will be moving on and so she needs diversion.

The day after next, you see the two of them back together.
She tells you that people deserve second chances.

The next week, you heard she broke up with him again.
She comes to you telling you that she has made up her mind to really move on.
The day after that, she whines about how she really misses him so they got back.

The following week, she says she broke up with him *again* and tells you that she has finally moved on.
Later that night, she sent you a PM on Facebook telling you that they're together again.

I'm not sure if who should really move on.
Rose moving on about her guy?
Or you moving on about Rose moving on?

Continue Reading...

The "STARRY" Girl

Clarisse is the type of person who depends everything on fortune telling, card reading and horoscopes.

She's got a boyfriend not too long ago but broke up with him because she found out their zodiac signs are not compatible.

She went to a black and white themed party wearing red because her daily horoscope told her it would be her lucky color.

She bought seven eggs even if her mom asked her to buy a dozen because the cards told her seven is her lucky number.

Every time she meets a new friend, she'll right away ask what's your zodiac and what year you were born to check if you really should be friends or not.

She has to consult her tarot cards every time she needs to make a decision.

And when something good or bad happens, she claims it's all destined to happen because of the formation of the stars.

Yea. It's all the fault because of the stars.

Continue Reading...

The Hashtagger

Belle is your typical hashtag queen.

She uses hashtags almost everywhere.

Well, most people nowadays do, anyway.

I don't know if it's just me or this kind of thing is really annoying:

"#Good #morning! #Just #woke #up."

Yeah. Something like that. 

She also uploads a selfie in the morning on instagram.

"#selfie #justwokeup #goodmorning #ignation #IGers #instapic #instadaily #daily #likesforlikes #followforfollow #l4l #f4f #monday #potd ... "

Hashtag blah blah blah.

What's even more annoying was when she took a picture of herself on the beach, uploaded it in instagram and used hashtags #BangonPH #PrayForThePhilippines #RIPPaulWalker . 

Yeah like, what's with the hashtags!?

Just to gain likes?

#TOTAL #LOSER .

Continue Reading...

The Complainant

You were assigned to decorate the place for an event.
You've got everything perfectly set up.
Ellie then enters the scene and complains on how things are so wrong.
She demands to change this and that and everything!

The teacher has divided the class into different groups.
She stood up and begins complaining as to why she is grouped with people whom she doesn't like to be with.
And you're unfortunate enough that you were actually one of those people she doesn't like to work with.

You're planning on how to go along on your group project.
She just sits there listening.
When any of you gives out suggestions, she exclaims "NO! That won't work! Think of something else!"

She saw this ceiling fan left turned on inside the classroom.
"WHY WOULDN'T PEOPLE TURN OFF THINGS WHEN THEY ARE NOT USING IT ANYMORE!?"
And walks away.

You told her that if she's so concerned, why didn't she turned it off herself.
She answered "WHY WOULD I!? I'M NOT THE ONE WHO LEFT IT ON."

"Why am I not the first born!?"
"I hate where this school is located!"
"I don't like wearing my uniform because it does not look good on me!!"
"Change the channel please! I don't like that show!"
"I don't like the way the government handles the country!"

She complains about her family.
She complains about school.
She complains about the government.
She complains about all the other people.
She complains about everything.

Just like that.

Maybe next time, she'll even start complaining about herself always complaining.

Continue Reading...

The Otakunese

I watch anime and read manga.
But I did not get to the point wherein I need to look and live like one of its characters.

It's okay to become a fan of otaku stuffs.
But it becomes annoying when you would have to push someone into liking all kinds of anime.

Micah is, no doubt, one otaku freak.

She hears you talking about your favorite episode in Slam Dunk, she then butts in and tells you what happens next... and you end up getting spoiled of the rest of the episodes.
She then opens up another anime show which is similar to Slam Dunk.
But you have no idea what that show is.
She would then frown saying "WHAT!? YOU WATCH SLAM DUNK BUT YOU DON'T WATCH @#&^*@#!?! LOSER!!! YOU'RE AN OTAKU WANNA-BE!!"
And then she walks out victoriously, thinking she has outsmarted you with a freaking anime show.

She knows you have read Death Note.
She approaches you and tells you she has already finished the anime a hundred times and the manga a thousand times more.
She even showed you her own copy of the Death Note with the names on it just like on the real thing.
But then you showed no interest with her Death Note coming from Comic Alley.
She then walks out again *victoriously* thinking you got jealous you don't have your own notebook with names of the dead on it.

You watched Rorouni Kenshin the Movie.
She comes to you asking if you knew the series' official sound tracks.
You told her you do not even watch the series.
She then tells you that you have no right to watch the movie if you haven't even watched the entire series.
She then walks out *again feeling victorious* while singing some Japanese song I'm not sure if she understands.

Apart from her bashing and walking out from all people she thinks are just otaku wanna-be's, she always dresses up like her favorite anime character.
She then acts all cutesy *and clumsy* because she believes that's the aspect that makes anime characters likable.
Her voice is like the sound of a mouse with its neck trapped on a door.

Sometimes I often wonder if she's some kind of alien from the anime world trapped inside reality.

She even claims she's so good at Nippongo when all she can say are "Kawaii!" "Sogoi!" "Daijoubu desu ka?"
B*tch please.
You speak Otakunese, not Japanese.

Continue Reading...